Like you could before

Bruises are more convincing late at night

Our eyes are more awake when it’s dark outside

We lie in bed when sleep costs more than waking up

Like stars are more expensive than the moon when skies

Are all lit up.

Sunshine is here when you need it least

Things you needed to hear most don’t make you pleased

Where is the night we used to feel at ease

Faded out with the streetlights in the summer

And the dawn

And you wake me, when I most am needing sleep

And you tell me, go back to sleep, don’t dream,

My heart is breaking, losing you like this to things I

Can’t control for you.

Bruises are more convincing late at night

It’s quiet when I talk with you and we fight

Without ever saying words that sting or bite

Because all that hurts is quieter than words

How do I fix you?

I wake up and I’m staring at the wall

You wake up and you’re staring at nothing at all

You leave me when we’re quiet and there isn’t any fight

I’m more exhausted than if we’d been yelling all night

I can’t

Do this

Anymore.

Words I never say out loud and can never ignore.

When does it make sense to walk away?

When does it make sense to let you go your own way?

Swimmers that just pull each other down

Don’t really help each other to not drown.

Tonight maybe I’ll say it out loud

Maybe you’ll listen and you’ll hear me out

I can’t stay if you won’t try, and you can’t try

Anymore

Like you could before.


Another poem about what I’ve been feeling lately. I feel like I’m responsible for people a lot. I want to fix them and fix their problems and sometimes it really just isn’t something I can do. I just don’t know what words to say to the people who I want to help.

Writing this just hit me so hard in the stomach. “Swimmers that just pull each other down/ Don’t really help each other not to drown.”

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